Hell’O Toronto

Warning: You are about to indulge in the most horrifying horrible horror story ever. Do not read before sleep. All characters and events are supernaturally real.

unspecified-3-copy

It was a boring ordinary evening on October 31st (or 13th depending on how you look at it) in Toronto. The weather started falling apart. The clock was ticking towards midnight, but shadows outside were still growing longer and the last rays of sunshine were randomly twinkling in the glass windows. All seemed to be so totally normal.

Then I felt it happening. An inexplicable power of unknown source was dragging me out of the house to the cold deserted streets where enormous black birds and bright laughing pumpkins appeared to be the only living creatures.

“Aritzia” a crow’s cry echoed in my fuzzy coat when I stepped out dressed in a big hurry to face my destiny. “What the heck is going on?” My thoughts were in total chaos.

unspecified copy.jpeg

“Hell’o baby… Trick or treat”, whispered a gloomy voice from above, but when I turned there was just a house staring at me with the emptiness of its framed windows.  I shivered and blamed the famous freezing Toronto breeze.

PA243462.JPG

Suddenly I heard a giggle. Shimmering with a variety of sounds like a million jingle-bells, it sparkled out of nowhere and disappeared almost immediately. A minute later a funny white face materialized from the underground, winked at me and laughed. There was another one at the corner, one on the sidewalk and one right by my side. They created an absolutely irresistible vibe! I started giggling along worrying that my shaky hands would fail me in capturing the surreal adventure.”Nighty-night my lady”, said the crisp air, and then there was the silence. I sighed.

“Pardon my interruption, but I’ve been admiring your hat”, said a friendly looking tall man from the garden across the street. There was something very familiar about his look as I’ve met him before, but his high soprano voice put my thoughts at ease. “Sorry, I usually don’t talk to strangers. Strangers scare me.” He confessed and then added: “Care for a walk, eh?”.

unspecified-1-copy

I was happy to get some company to cheer me up on those empty streets and we walked. While I questioned my companion on where to find the best pumpkin pie in the neighbourhood, he was more interested in discussing American politics, so I waved good-bye and found myself on a crossroads.

“What’s next? Mmmmm… Did I get lost?” My recently charged iPhone had turned black and decided to die taking away the privilege of modern communication plus “I can’t live without you” Google maps. I starred at the surroundings, trying to figure out a game plan.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

“Meowellow”, purred a charming voice in my ear. “The sun is setting. You better find shelter. Streets belong to me after dark”. A black cat appeared behind me. “Real cats never get lost. Come along girl and hurry up”.

unspecified-2 copy.jpeg

I followed the Black Cat sharing the same enthusiasm and curiosity as Alice once showed following the White Rabbit. And what an amazing race it was!

unspecified copy 2.jpeg

Houses, creepy sounds, streets decorated in a luxurious and decadent manner, faded facades and pale faces carved on them. I swear I saw a dragon who just played along!

unspecified-1

I couldn’t believe my luck! The Black Cat turned out to be the It Cat, knowing everyone and everything. After a glass of bubbly with local celebrities I realized that my friends were long gone and I was standing by myself in front of my house. It was the moon-faced pumpkin that smiled and sadly whispered: “‘Till the next year darling”!

Stalk me on Instagram or Facebook

Honest Ads

The era of Mad Men continues in the digital age. Where there’s a space, there’s a temptation to use it; emptiness is irresistible. I walked the streets of Toronto and further with Mr. Goose to discover the meaning of life hidden behind letters and images in posted advertisements. Accompanied by the spirit of Nietzsche, Mo Di, Tolstoy, Einstein and the cast of Mothy Python, we are about to add our deep voices to the choir of philosophical marketing. Enjoy!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

… but no thyme to chill! Spotted in the front patio, The Drake Hotel.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

… look who’s got no socks = no life at all. Just another pharmacy downtown.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

… clothed reptiles permitted. Thanks Uncle Tetsu!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

… Actimel needs to stay a lot stronger (35%+) to get me through this! High Park subway station

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

… Hurry! Honest Ed’s is about to turn into condos.

IMG_3658

… talking about thunders, eh? Cafe on Yonge

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

…can’t wait to try it all! Chinatown.

IMG_3652

…Psycho Reader, the aborted Hitchcock sequel. Just another place on Yonge.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

… it’s true, thought a modest spider on the wall and blushed. Diesel store, Yorkville.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

… this place sucks!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Does Yoga mean the same thing in Canada as the rest of the world? This place rocks!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

…are you kidding me?!? Only bad vodka is made from potatoes.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

… craft beer and hipsters. Somewhere around King St W

Stalk me on Instagram and Facebook